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What unhappy marriage feels like?
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You may not realize it, but every relationship starts off unhappy. In fact, about 80% of marriages start off unhappy. That’s why it’s important to learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse.
Communication is one of the keys to happy relationships. When couples don’t communicate, problems arise. And when problems arise, conflict arises. Conflict leads to unhappiness. Unhappiness leads to divorce.
So, how do you know if you’re communicating effectively with your spouse? Well, you could ask them directly. But, you might want to take a look at your own behavior. Are you being honest? Do you speak your mind? Do you listen to your spouse?
What happens when you don’t communicate effectively? Problems occur. And when problems occur, conflict occurs. And when conflict occurs, unhappiness occurs. And when unhappiness occurs, divorce occurs.
If you want to avoid divorce, you must learn how to communicate effectively. Communication is key to happy relationships.
The first thing to know about unhappy marriages is that it’s normal.
Unhappy marriages feel bad because we’re human. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. But when things go wrong, it’s not just us who suffer; our partners often feel miserable too.
That’s why it’s important to remember that unhappy marriages aren’t abnormal. They happen every day. And they usually end up being temporary.
But here’s the thing: Even though unhappy marriages seem inevitable, they’re actually avoidable. So let me tell you what happens when couples stay together despite unhappiness.
First, they become numb to each other’s emotions. This makes them unable to talk about problems. Second, they stop sharing interests and hobbies. Third, they lose interest in sex. Fourth, they grow apart physically. Fifth, they begin arguing over trivial matters. Sixth, they stop having fun together. Seventh, they stop talking to friends and family. Eighth, they stop going out. Ninth, they stop making plans. Tenth, they stop looking forward to events. Eleventh, they stop planning vacations. Twelfth, they stop taking care of themselves. Thirteenth, they stop trying to improve their relationship. Fourteenth, they stop caring about each other. Fifteenth, they stop loving each other. Sixteenth, they stop feeling loved. Seventeenth, they stop feeling happy. Eighteenth, they stop feeling excited. Nineteenth, they stop feeling passionate. Twentieth, they stop feeling connected. Twenty-first, they stop feeling safe. Twenty-second, they stop feeling secure. Twenty-third, they stop feeling appreciated. Twenty-fourth, they stop feeling needed. Twenty-fifth, they stop feeling wanted. Twenty-sixth, they stop feeling special. Twenty-seventh, they stop feeling loved by God.
And finally, twenty-eighth, they stop feeling alive.
If you find yourself in this situation, please reach out to me. I’d be honored to help you through this process.
Why does this happen?
When we’re married, we often feel happy and content. We may not be perfect, but our relationship seems stable and solid. But sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we find ourselves feeling angry, frustrated, sad, lonely, or depressed.
We’ve all been there at some point. And when we’re in those states, we tend to blame each other. We say things like, “You never listen to me!” Or, “You never help out around here.”
But the truth is, we’re both equally responsible for creating these feelings. So instead of blaming each other, let’s take responsibility for our own actions. Let’s work together to fix whatever problems we’re having.
If you’re experiencing marital conflict, try talking through your issues with your spouse. Explain your concerns and ask them to talk honestly with you. Ask them to give you feedback about how they’re feeling. Then, come up with solutions to solve any problems you may be facing.
And remember, no matter how bad things seem right now, they can always get better.
How can we prevent it from happening again?
Unhappy marriages happen when couples stop communicating. They become isolated from each other, and they lose touch with their feelings and needs. This leads to resentment, anger, and frustration.
When this happens, communication breaks down, and the couple stops talking to each other. The result is a cold, distant relationship where neither partner wants to talk to the other.
This is exactly what happened between me and my husband. We had been married for over 20 years, and our relationship was going through some rough times. We stopped talking to each other, and we became very disconnected.
We were not happy together anymore. Our relationship felt stale and boring. We didn’t feel excited about life anymore. We lost interest in sex. And we just plain got sick of each other.
Our lack of communication led us to isolate ourselves from each other. We stopped sharing our thoughts and opinions. We stopped asking questions. We stopped caring about each other.
And because we weren’t talking to each other, we couldn’t understand what made us tick. So we didn’t know what we wanted out of life. We didn’t know what we needed to be happy.
Eventually, we realized that we were no longer compatible. We decided to divorce. But we didn’t realize that we would need counseling to help us work through our problems and learn how to communicate better.
If you’re having trouble in your relationship, try these tips to improve communication:
1) Talk to each other every day.
2) Ask each other questions.
3) Share your thoughts and ideas.
4) Don’t criticize or argue with each other.
Finally
Happy relationships don’t just happen; they take work. But if you’re willing to put in some effort, you’ll find yourself enjoying a happier relationship.