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Why do open relationships fail?
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Open Relationships Are Not For Everyone
An open relationship is one in which both partners agree to share intimate details about themselves, including sexual preferences and fantasies. Open relationships may seem ideal because it seems like it could lead to a deeper connection and greater intimacy. But while it might sound great in theory, it rarely turns out that way in practice. In fact, research shows that open relationships tend to be less satisfying than monogamous relationships.
Why Do People Fail At Open Relationships?
It’s not always clear why people succeed at open relationships, but researchers believe that it boils down to three factors: trust, commitment, and honesty.
Trust is essential to successful open relationships. When people enter into them, they must trust their partners enough to reveal personal information about themselves. They also need to trust that their partners won’t betray them.
Commitment is also important. While openness is often associated with risk, it isn’t necessarily risky. As long as both partners are willing to commit to being honest with each other, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Honesty is key. Honesty helps build trust, and without trust, open relationships don’t really work. To maintain honesty, couples need to communicate openly about their feelings and needs.
These three factors help explain why open relationships aren’t always successful. Some people simply lack the ability to trust others, and they may struggle to develop a trusting relationship. Others may be unwilling to commit to honesty, and they may fear that their partners will leave them. And still others may not want to take the risk of opening up to someone else.
If you’re interested in exploring open relationships further, check out my article on polyamory.
The Problem with Open Relationships
Open relationships are great when you’re looking for a casual fling. But once you’ve found that special person who makes you feel alive again, you may find yourself wondering whether you should be exclusive with them.
If you’re not ready to commit to being monogamous, consider opening up your relationship instead. This means having sex with multiple partners at the same time.
While this sounds like a recipe for disaster, it actually works well because everyone knows there’s no commitment involved. So if one partner wants to end things, they simply stop seeing each other.
This arrangement isn’t ideal for long term relationships, but it does work for short term affairs. And since most people aren’t committed to any particular lifestyle, open relationships are a pretty safe bet.
The Solution: A Relationship Agreement
Open relationships are great because they’re not monogamous. But when there’s no written agreement between partners, things can go wrong.
Here’s the problem: People often feel pressured to be exclusive with their partner, especially when they’ve been together for a long time. They may fear losing their partner if they aren’t 100% committed.
But this pressure can lead to resentment, jealousy, and conflict. And these feelings can cause problems in the relationship.
To avoid these issues, couples should agree to be exclusive with each other. This means that only one person can date others at any given time.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t have friends outside your relationship. But you need to respect your partner’s boundaries.
If you find yourself feeling jealous or resentful, talk to your partner about it. Ask them to give you some space, and let you know when they’re ready to rejoin the dating scene.
When you’re ready to rejoin, ask your partner to sign a Relationship Agreement. The agreement should include rules about who can date whom, when, and where.
And remember, once you’re back in the game, you shouldn’t expect your partner to change overnight. Give them time to adjust to being out again.
The Benefits of a Relationship Agreement
Open relationships are great because they allow partners to be honest with each other. They’re not afraid to express their feelings and desires openly. Open relationships are often described as being non-exclusive, meaning there’s no commitment to exclusivity.
However, open relationships aren’t perfect. The biggest problem is that they lack boundaries. Without limits, partners may feel pressured to cheat. This pressure can lead to emotional abuse, infidelity, and breakups.
To avoid these problems, couples should create a relationship agreement. An agreement outlines rules and expectations for the couple’s behavior. It helps prevent cheating and keeps everyone happy.
An agreement isn’t just for open relationships. Couples who are already together can benefit from creating one too. It gives them clarity and makes it easier to communicate when things go wrong.
If you’re interested in learning more about relationship agreements, check out this post on HuffPost.
Finals
When it comes to open relationships, it’s important to understand what makes them successful and avoid some common pitfalls.